|
Often, Barton and I push the envelope, just by walking into a room. Many people see Barton’s wheelchair before they see Barton, and think I married Barton to take care of him. Most people do not think that someone with a disability, no matter how severe could be successful in mainstream society.
Since Barton and I own our own business, are active participants in our community, and are open about educating others about our relationship, we tend to rattle nerves. Recently, we came across a situation where Barton made others in a professional organization uncomfortable. I was allowed to participate, but Barton was not. We spent a lot of time discussing how we should handle the situation because there were members in multiple arenas of our networking groups. Not only that, but we had to separate out the views of particular members and the members who did support and encourage us to keep moving forward.
The work that Barton and I do in both our personal and professional lives advocates and educations others that people with disabilities can be married, have a family, work, and be leaders in our community.
It has been an amazing journey as children and adults with disabilities look up to Barton and I as successful in our lives by breaking through mainstream social limitations; I am reminded of a conference where a mother of a youth with a disability was so moved by the story of how we met and our marriage, that she began crying, releasing all of her own fears she had about her son who was exploring different options to attend college.
Together, Barton and I decided that while we needed to voice our concerns and call out what was happening about this particular situation; we also needed to let go of forcing to make it work. This meant closing the door to that particular organization, and our challenge now became how we addressed this to the members who crossed social networking lines, to make sure that these lines remain intact.
There are times to push the envelope and there are times to close the flap; knowing the difference is a test of impeccability, and we’re still learning.
Click here to read our self advocacy letter.
|
