The Predicament Over Permissions
As I have been expanding, revising and polishing Chrysalis: Colors of the Rainbow for publication this spring, I have also been sending draft copies out to readers and those who are mentioned in the memoir. For me, it has been important, personally and professionally, to respect those who are in my memoir by letting them know it is coming out for publication, and give the opportunity for a response.
Creative journaling provides a safe buffer, a form of self-expression that may or may not be shared with anyone, ever. Preparing a memoir for publication brings up many questions about permissions, especially if people in the memoir are still living. I was careful to delete specific names, or use generalities for those who are still living that are mentioned in my memoir. I left portions out and deleted places where I began venting, especially in earlier drafts where writing was such an integral part of processing grief.
I admit, it was strange and awkward to put the manuscript, in its entirety, in the mail to family members. For someone else, it had been almost ten years since I had had any communication with the family, at all. While I await their responses, I re-read portions and ask myself, was this too much, too direct, too emotional.
I wonder what it might be like for them to read portions of my grief journey that I had never told to anyone before. What emotions would it stir up within them?
While James Frey did great damage to the credibility of memoir, there is something to be said for difference of perspective. We will always view experiences and events in our lives according to our own history, background, and assumptions. Memoir is one slice, one perspective, and respecting others in their own view and perspective while staying true to my own perspective has been tricky.
As I work through the process, I remind myself to be open to changes, and to understand different perspectives, integrating them into my work to value, both my experience and the people that are weaved throughout.
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Butterfly Words Flying Onto the Page
 When Barton and I met with the designer who will be designing the covers and interior of our book, little did I realize I would be publishing my own memoir, Chrysalis: Colors of the Rainbow before the manuscript Barton and I are working on together. Chrysalis is more complete, and to put our time to use, we decide that I will work on completing Chrysalis in preparation for publication.
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Do you Swear to Tell The Truth, The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth? |
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On Fridays, I have been attending the Osler Literary Roundtable at Duke University Medical Center in Durham. This is an opportunity for patients, staff, and community members in a roundtable discussion forum. On Friday, we had an Open Table, where we could read our work or the work of someone else to discuss. At the end, we had this fabulous and heated discussion of poetry, memoir and nonfiction.
This came about through the article recently published in The New Yorker entitled “But Enough About Me” by Daniel Mendelsohn. The article discusses why memoirs have become so pop-culture and the nature behind false memoirs (like James Frey with A Million Little Pieces). The discussion lead to the question of poetry. Should poetry be assumed by the reader to be non-fiction?
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Several weeks ago, my husband Barton and I were the keynote speakers at the People First Conference in Jackson's Mill, West Virginia. This conference focused on healthy relationships, with the overall theme of creating more independence for people with disabilities. We spoke to over 220 participants about our relationship and started a dialogue about people with disabilities creating relationships, as well as the challenges and successes along the way.
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A Tale in Two Versions
Barton and I have been flushing out our new blog on www.loverollson.wordpress.com, a place where we talk about the adventures in our relationship. The response to it has been phenomenal, and we have received many comments about how we stagger our stories in a "he said, she said" manner. While this may seem cliche, of course I won't remember everything that happened, and Barton doesn't either. Then we also have the husband/wife factor that plays into our stories as well.
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