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I have been teaching a workshop entitled Haiku as a Spiritual Writing Practice, and the issue of judgment has come up recently. Leaving the judgment card at the door is difficult to do, and usually it has more to do with judgment of self than judgment of others.
I can’t be a writer. Well, my writing isn’t as good as that. I don’t think I’m creative at all. It’s just so hard, maybe I shouldn’t be writing at all.
Why is it so easy to slip into these negative thought patterns? The creative arts is hardly about comparison, yet we tend to think another writer, another poem or piece of writing must be better than our own.
Writing gives us the opportunity to look at these judgments further, explore them so that we can move past them and stop tripping ourselves up. Where are these thoughts coming from- it may be from someone in our past or insecurity from our own ego bubbling up. Ask yourself- why and where are these thoughts coming from? So how do we let these judgments go? Keep writing!
In 2000, my mother went through a period where she was scared to paint. She had MS, and when she lost the fine dexterity in her hands, the insecurities crept up about painting the portrait and landscapes that used to. That Christmas, I asked her for a painting of our cat, Allie. I told her I didn’t care if it was the worst painting in the world. That one painting led to a series of pastels. I still have the abstract of Allie; it is one of my favorites.
So what if it’s the worst writing in the world. So what if you aren’t good as some of the greats out there. So what. Keep writing.
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